Sometimes in my daydreaming, I'll think back to when I was a little kid in grade school and I think about all of the people who I saw every day back then; all of the teachers and the other kids and the women who ran the after school day care program that I went to, and I wonder where they all went and how come I never seem to see them around anymore. I think it's really strange. I mean, these were the people I saw, talked to, interacted with and learned from every day, and now I only think about them in daydreams. I feel like no matter how much I put myself out into the world, I will still probably never see or hear from these people again. Not that that is a bad thing or a sad thing necessarily, it's just a thing like water or napping or eating or driving a car. Still, it is strange when I think about it…it's strange because it makes me think about all of the current people in my life and how someday I will most likely have similar recollections about them. It also makes me think about age and how people behave and react to others' behavior based on their ages. I specifically remember this woman named Katie who was one of the after school day care instructors when I was about 7 or 8 years old. She was a college student at the time, not much older than I am today, and I thought that I was in love with her and eventually I confessed my feelings to her and asked her to marry me. Of course she found this to be adorable and Katie and I were pretty good buddies back then, at least as good of buddies as a 20-some-year-old girl and an a 7-or-8-year-old boy could be, but looking back it all seems so silly and almost fictitious to me, as if it never really happened. Yet, I remember the feeling of wanting to marry her, based on my basic knowledge then of what I thought concepts like love and marriage were, and it was genuine. I REALLY DID WANT TO MARRY HER! And I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed when she told me she had a boyfriend…but it was no big heartbreak for me because at the time I was more in love with being Katie's friend then anything else. At the time, I didn't even know that there was anything else! If I were to try and psychoanalyze my adolescent love for Katie here and now I would say that it was just a reaction to my wanting to be best friends with Katie forever. But I honestly couldn't even tell you the last time I saw Katie. I can tell you that I did not cry and my heart did not break and I did not lose any sleep over it. It just happened. And I'll think back to those old times here and there and I'm glad that I am able to remember because it gives me perspective and I don't feel so silly anymore for asking her to marry me because I feel like I learned something from it all. What is challenging about it all, however, is that when I think about the people in my life today, the people who I would say I love, I automatically want to view them in a different light. "These people," I think, "will always be there and I will always love them and I will love them more and more and more and they will return the love more and more and more until the end of days!" But that just isn't rational because like Katie and like all of the teachers and students who I once knew back in my elementary school days, these people who I love today will likely not be in my life forever and will only be a part of my life in daydreams every once and a while and I won't think to phone them because it simply won't matter. And I could see how that would make some people sad but when I think back to Katie and everyone I once knew but know no longer, I don't feel sad. I feel excited and intrigued and glad that I haven't forgotten what it is like to be 8-years-old and in love! And I hope that someday when I am much older than I am now, I will be able to look back on these days and instead of feeling regret, feel joyful that I am able to remember and appreciate all that was done and all that is and everything and everyone and know that love is not having but having had once, and once is all it takes.
Recorded at Jill's house August, 2014 and at Hidden Tracks Recording Studio. 'Everyone (Porch') recorded at the Lafayette Manor.
Mixed and mastered by Jeremy Garrett at Hidden Tracks Recording Studio. Produced by Mitch Gettman & Jeremy Garrett.
All songs written by Mitch Gettman, copyright 2014.
released October 18, 2014
Mitch Gettman - Guitars, Piano, Keyboards, Banjo, Violin, Cello, Percussion, Harmonica, Production
Justin Fletcher - Lead guitar on Everyone (Porch)
Jeremy Garrett - Mixing, Production, Loops
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